I am a list maker. If it doesn’t get written down on a legal pad, or a small piece of scratch paper, it is not worth doing. Or so my warped mind tells me.
Yesterday’s list was pretty tame.
1. Court (I had a long hearing of sorts in local state court)
2. Run 3 miles (part of my half marathon training)
3. Bank
4. Email Sarah re: Homecoming
In between these seemingly easy and obvious activities I have listed work and personal items that have deadlines or artificial ones in my mind. I have written actions already complete just for the satisfaction of crossing them off. At work, an even larger list appears on my desk with lines and highlighted portions to reflect level of urgency and importance and a large black marker appears next to the list so I can powerfully cross out completed tasks.
These lists do not contain any of the following:
1. Thank husband for making a great dinner and taking care of dogs while in Court
2. Write note to friend in NYC who just had a baby
3. Call friend in Roanoke who just had a baby
4. Hug, kiss and or spoon with large white dog Gracie
5. Walk Dogs
6. Sit outside and enjoy the cooler air
7. Tell my family I love them
8. Make office manager laugh despite the stress of filing deadlines and endless phone ringing
9. Thank God for the upcoming blessings of fall
11. Read – anything.
12. Ignore laundry and read that great book you just started
Nope. None of those items appeared in my list, which means upon reflection this morning, none of those things occurred. Time is not an excuse. Rather, my actions reflect my priorities and right now they are out of line. Not that the run or bank trip weren’t important, but they were easy. Rote exercises that require me to give nothing of myself and seek nothing in return.
My favorite season is approaching and with luck, just as it does every year in Western Virginia, Fall will bring with it opportunities to relax – enjoy – marvel as green leaves turn orange and yellow. Reflect as the sky remains dark for addition
al hours and even the lazy dogs on my bed stretch for another 30 minutes of rest. Fall means red wine, soup, apple cider, jeans and scarecrows lovingly placed by front doors. Pumpkins and costumes in celebration of childhood. Holidays, parties, and a myriad of other excuses to stop running on auto pilot and obsessing about “getting things done,” because there are more important things to do. Like paddling. Traveling. Dressing up. Laughing. Not doing the laundry. Connecting with friends. Exploring your town. Exploring your yard. Exploring your mind. Visiting with friends. Being the best version on myself. Letting go. Stop making lists.