HAIRBOATING HAIR FARMERS

The 2008 Curt Davis Invitational Mustache Growing Contest of Paddlesports pits kayaker against kayaker in a contest to see who can grow the most humiliating mustache. From June 1 to July 31, competitors will release their upper lip hair to see who can rock the best ‘stache.

The brainchild of Asheville boater Joey Hall, the contest grew from a personal mustache challenge between Hall and friend Curt Davis, who conceded that first competition on the first day. Hall opened the competition up to all boaters in 2006, creating the inaugural Curt Davis Invitational Mustache Growing Contest of Paddlesports. Boaters from across the country submitted humiliating pictures of themselves with gross amounts of lip hair. There were even some female boaters who tried to grow the ‘stache. Given the success of the inaugural Mustache Growing Contest, Hall brought the contest back for 2008.

BRO asked Hall a few questions about the art of growing lip whiskers.
BRO: Why are mustaches so funny?

Hall: Mustaches aren’t funny to me, they are totally awesome.

BRO: Will your buddy Curt Davis ever grow a mustache?

Hall: Curt Davis still harbors bitterness that he lost against me in our informal mustache comp years ago. He didn’t go for the ‘stache then and I doubt he ever will, but he will be judging this year’s proceedings. Although I won that fateful contest, he caused me a day’s worth of embarrassment by not having the guts to call me early in the day to concede. I had to go fix some computers at the school my roommate works at that day, and I got dirty looks all around as a result. In retaliation, I named the inaugural Mustache Competition of Paddlesports after Curt, forever intertwining his legacy with that of the ‘stache. Although he tends to gripe and moan about having the contest named after him, I like to think that secretly he’s honored.

BRO: Does any man look good in a mustache?

Hall: Yes, some men can rock the mustache and look good, even regal. Magnum P.I., Charlie Chaplin, Freddie Mercury – the ‘stache worked for all of them. Some of the guys I surf kayak with all sport appropriate mustaches. But I’d say it’s limited to about 5% of the male population that can pull off the mustache look without looking like a fool. Having dark whiskers helps a lot, as those with light facial hair tend to struggle more with the look. I, for instance, have red facial hair, even though my hair is brown. Thus I look like a moron when wearing a ‘stache. It doesn’t stop me though.

BRO: Will the mustache ever be popular again?

Hall: I think things are looking up for mustaches as a whole. Through progressive, groundbreaking contests such as the Curt Davis Invitational, the mustache is gaining more acceptance, first in the paddling community, but soon to the world at large. And hey, they are still really popular in Russia.

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